Oh, “Walking Dead”‘ Facebook page … lead me not into temptation.
Those who have hung around in these parts for a while know that after watching Season 1 of “Game of Thrones,” I dove into the books and devoured them. They had no more chance against me than a pizza does when faced with a herd of frat boys with the drunk munchies. If anything, knowing how things go down in the books makes me even more psyched about Season 2’s April 1 beginning. I am so looking forward to seeing the next chain of events on the screen and to watching how they bring new characters to life.
Even so, I’m taking a different approach with AMC’s “The Walking Dead.” Most know the series is at least loosely based on comic books. Hell, it may be completely replicating the comic book storyline, for all I know. I’ve made a decision not to find out.
But now that Season 2 is over and I’ll have to wait until fall for my next zombie fix, I am fighting the urge to explore. I’m not heading out to get the comic books, but even that doesn’t protect me from my urge to pop into various message boards and see what “in the know” fans are saying about next season.
So instead, I’m going to talk about what I HOPE will happen.
SPOILER ALERT: Don’t read further unless you’ve finished watching season 2 or don’t care if I blow a shocker or two for you.
My Season 3 Wish List.
1. Let Rick realize once and for all that Lori is a flaming doucherocket and tell her to shove it.
He forgave her for boinking Shane while she thought he was dead. He’s decided to live with the fact that the baby she’s carrying may be his, but is just as likely to be psycho-spawn. He forgave her for flying off the handle and accusing him of keeping too many secrets before she’d said a word about either her Shane-boinking or her who’s-yer-daddy dilemma.
After all that, she ended Season 2 by retching and wailing and shoving him and losing her shit over the fact that he killed Shane. Guess he was supposed to sit back and let Shane shoot him in that field. And let’s not forget that a few episodes before their showdown, Lori was begging him to off Shane in cold blood. I guess that would have been okay, but him doing it in self-defense is somehow too much for her fragile emotions to handle.
Guess its pretty clear by now that I can’t stand Lori. Hell, I’m still pissed at her over the episode where she tells Andrea that she doesn’t help out enough. Andrea is so far the only woman in the group who regularly represents the chicks in zombie-stomps.
Rick needs to tell Lori to kiss his new and improved Ricktator bum. Get her down off her Queen Bee pedestal, and see how she handles not being special. Maybe then she’ll finally have time to keep an eye on her kid so he stops running off to throw rocks at zombies.
2. Once Rick does tell Lori to piss off, let her do what she does best – glom on to any other man in sight. Maybe she can bat her eyes at Daryl and get Carol all pissed off, since we all know Carol wants to shack up with the D-Man in one of those camp sites he decorates with squirrel carcasses. Or she could go all cougar on Glen and Maggie could kick her ass. Or maybe she could throw herself at T-Dog and he’d finally get more air time.
3. Which brings me to T-Dog. My wish for him is just that. More air time. Let the man talk a little. I sense a butt-kicker waiting for his time just under the surface.
4. Give Carol a set of balls. Seriously, this woman is annoying me so much I almost wanted her to be zombie food in the last episode. I want to pity her because of Sophia’s horrific end. But all she’s done – since way before her daughter turned zombie – is whine about what everyone else is or isn’t doing. She straight-up admits being a part of crucial decisions is too hard for her, but then criticizes every one that the tougher members of the group make.
Shit or get off the pot, honey. Unfortunately for Carol, Lori has cornered the market on whiny useless drama queen in the show. She needs to either find a new niche or become zombie bait.
5. Give us more Daryl. It seems we’re headed in that direction, thankfully. I really like the Daryl character. He’s a backwoodsy kind of guy who was built for the zombie apocolypse – its pretty clear he’s not exactly mourning the loss of wi-fi and smart phones. He’s got the whole “I care but I don’t wanna care” inner turmoil going on, and it makes him a perfect asshole. He’s got Carol waiting in the wings to jump his bones. Let him become Rick’s new right-hand man. Or Rick’s new nemesis. He could shine either way.
6. Keep Rick badass. I loved Rick’s last scene in season 2. He’s finally had enough of being looked to as the leader but getting slammed for every move he makes. Perhaps the only productive thing Lori did all season was to freak out on him over the Shane shit. Her showing him once and for all that just like the others she’ll come down on his choices one minute but expect him to save her ass the next pushed him over the edge.
Let him stay there on that edge, and let’s see what happens. I’ll be the first to admit that I want this because I over-empathize with Rick’s character. In a zombie apocolypse, my only productive skill would be learning to make moonshine. But in real life, I often feel like that person who is pushed out in front to solve all the problems whether I want to lead or not. So Rick Grimes is my hero, and I’m tired of them all screwing with his head.
7. Give Rick a worthy new nemesis. A badass Rick will need more than easily-killed walkers – even hordes of them – as a worthy opponent. I didn’t like Shane, but I loved his role in the series. Daryl may fit the bill. T-Dog might wake up from his long limited-dialogue slumber and become an assmunch. Or …
8. Make Andrea PISSED. I might be in the minority with this, but Andrea is by far my favorite female character. She’s had her moments of weakness, but she always pulls herself up by the bootstraps. And that’s why I like her – because she pulls HERSELF up. Unlike Carol and Lori, who wail and wait for a big man with a bigger gun, she handles her own.
Maggie has potential, but for now Andrea is the only woman in the series who does her own zombie-bashing and isn’t afraid of a fight. It is ironic that she is also the only one who almost made the decision to stay at the CDC and die in Season 1 – I guess that brought her to some sort of epiphany about life’s value.
So now, let her be pissed off about getting left behind at the farm. After all, she’d have made it out in the truck T-Dog was driving if she hadn’t jumped out to save Carol’s bacon. Let her and that hooded zombie-toting thing that saved her come wandering into camp so she can face the group and say “you m-effers left me.”
Then let it go from there. She’s got what it takes to be Rick’s new nemesis or best ally, and she’s worthy of either position. Heck, I’ll admit I’d even like to see her and Rick have an affair so he’d actually get a little from someone worthy of him.
9. Give me more of Hershel as he was in the last episode. I’m loving how the gentle, alcoholic, loving father who hoped for some kind of peaceful coexistence with zombies went all Clint Eastwood when he picked up a gun.
10. Work on Beth. For whatever reason, her weakness doesn’t frustrate me as much as Carol’s and Lori’s. Perhaps it is because she’s so young. More likely it is because she doesn’t criticize everyone else. But I’m not sure where her storyline is going.
I was a little worried that with Shane out of the picture the series would falter. Zombie fighting is cool, but you need some human conflict in the mix to keep things interesting. We’ve gotten a hint that new characters (like Andrea’s hooded rescuer) and new settings are on the horizon, though, and the series have given me every reason to have faith that they’ll keep things hopping.
Do you watch the series, and if so are you also a reader of the graphic novels or are you deliberately in the dark like me? What were your thoughts on the conclusion of Season 2 and where would you like to see Season 3 take us?