I Love You, But Quit Calling Me!

Before I embark on this little detour to Rantsville, I have to put things in a bit of perspective.

I hate the sound of my phone ringing. When cell phones came into being, we stuffed them in our purses or pockets and chained ourselves to the outside world. There is something to be said for the days when people couldn’t get a hold of you anytime, anywhere. Sometimes I miss being able to hang out at the pub or go to dinner with friends without one of us getting called or texted a gazillion times.

But that’s not what this post is about, really. I hate the sound of my phone ringing, especially when I’m at home. Lee is the only one I’d want to talk to who normally calls and makes it “ring,” and if I’m home with him he’s obviously not the one calling. All my friends and family tend to text more than call. So they make the phone “chirp,” not “ring.”

So when I’m home in the middle of writing or enjoying a good TV show and my phone rings, I cringe a little. It never has a good grace to ring when I’m doing something like scrubbing the toilet, you know?

And it rings all too much these days, since I joined the new gym.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the gym. It is making me look better, and more importantly, feel better. My energy levels are up, my tummy is slowly shrinking, and those things called muscles are gradually reappearing. I owe much to my new relationship with the gym.

But we see each other 4-5 times a week, so I see no need for it to call me all the time, too. That’s just being clingy.

My new gym doesn’t see things the same way. It loves the phone, and makes up all sorts of dumb excuses to call me.  Yes, I realize the brick and mortar building itself isn’t calling me. Even my writer’s imagination doesn’t take things THAT far. It is the uniformed minions within who seem to keep putting me at the top of their phone list.

We have the same conversation over and over again, but like a clingy lover who doesn’t understand the need for personal space, the gym keeps ringing me back for more. I’ve stopped answering the phone when their number comes up, but in a last-ditch effort to explain myself here are the answers to their questions that pop up over and over again.

1. No, I do NOT want a personal trainer.

Long ago, I figured out how to lose weight and get in shape. I have to work out and consume less calories than I burn up. I have to incorporate cardio and targeted weight training. What I don’t know in terms of new exercises and the best ways to target certain areas, I can read online. My problem was never not knowing what to do. It was not doing it.

I don’t want a personal trainer for two reasons. One is that I’m an introvert in an extraverted world, and I have made the gym part of my sorely lacking “introvert time.” My workout is for my body, but also for my mind. For that hour a day, I am all alone with me, myself and I, even if there are other exercisers treadmilling and weightlifting all around me. I can fade into my thoughts as my body does its thing. It is that aspect of my routine that makes the gym a truly holistic thing for me.

If I have a trainer, I have to TALK to him or her while I’m working out. Call me a rude little douche if you want, but that is highly unappealing. I am much more interested in the thoughts and stories in my head than I am in someone telling me to do one more rep, thankyouverymuch.

The other reason I don’t want a personal trainer is that I am a broke-ass bitch, and one isn’t included in the membership fee. Can I make it any clearer than that?

2. My friends don’t want any part of our relationship.

What are you, a perv? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you fifty times. My friends have their own relationships, and aren’t interested in getting involved in ours.

I understand that you are trying to drum up membership, and the best source of new clients is often current customers who are satisfied with your service. But as I’ve told you before, I have no friends or family members who want to sign up.

Well, that’s not quite true. I do. But guess what? They’re already members. You’re probably calling THEM too, trying to convince them to get ME to sign on.

Everyone I know who wants to join a gym in this area is already on board. My other friends live too far away or belong to their own gyms and aren’t interested in cheating on them. The few that don’t fall into this category have their own self-designed workout regimens that involve repeatedly lifting beer bottles. You may not approve, but it seems to work for them.

So, just to recap:  Thanks but no thanks on the personal trainer, and my friends do NOT want to come out and play with us.

Now, please stop blowing up my phone. I will never break up with you, because you’ve done ever so much for me and I’m very grateful. But I AM blocking your calls. Our relationship will be ever so much healthier if you give me a little space.


About hawleywood40

Writer, Steelers Fan in Baltimore, Frequent Visitor to the Shot Fairy
This entry was posted in Exercise, Fitness and Weight Loss, humor, Slices O' Life and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to I Love You, But Quit Calling Me!

  1. l'empress says:

    You have to make a concerted effort not to be tied to the phone. I removed the texting from my phone; now you can text me all you want, but I won’t get it. Then, you have to stop answering. I would never answer the phone if I were speaking with someone else. (I used to leave it on when my husband was at day care, because there could have been an emergency.)

    I have never missed a truly important call because I didn’t answer. And people who have important messages leave a voice mail; that’s what it’s for.

    • hawleywood40 says:

      A lot of times I do just ignore mine at home – I like text – they generally only come from people I want to hear from. But business-related calls on my time irk my nerves – email it or send me something in the mail and I’ll get back to you if I want to …

  2. What is it about a phone ringing that makes us feel compelled to answer it? I can’t let it just go to voicemail. So I know what you mean about the telemarketers that you know and don’t know. I think we all need a little “Time Out” for GOOD behavior!

  3. L.S. Engler says:

    Ugh, the phone ringing. I was recently late for a payment on something (ONE payment, after well over a year of payments on time) and they would NOT STOP CALLING until the check got to them. That’s an extreme case, but I still cringe even when it’s just anyone calling. I almost regret putting a ringtone back on my phone; before, it was on vibrate, but I kept missing important calls from work, so I switched it and I’m thinking of going back to vibrate only!

    Which is my way of saying I agree with so many points in this post and I live by the universal motto of, “If it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail.” It drives my SO, who thinks I have an unreasonable phone-phobia, crazy, but OH WELL.

    • hawleywood40 says:

      Lee laughs at me. If someone calls and a number comes up instead of a name I’ve programmed in, I NEVER answer. He’ll say “you’re phone’s ringing.” I’ll say “I know, but I don’t recognize the number.” He’ll look at me like I have 3 heads : ).

  4. Katy says:

    I love this post because I know exactly how you feel!

    I’ve resorted to turning my phone onto “flight mode” so that no one can get through unless I want them to. Usually if it’s important enough they’ll send a text or leave a voicemail, and I’ll periodically turn my phone off flight mode throughout the day to see if I have any messages.

    I really do hate the shrill sound of phones ringing. Honestly, I’ve even come to hate the sound of my phone vibrating late at night! I think I have an unreasonable phone-phobia like L.S. Engler. Sigh.

    Also, when I read your posts I really do feel motivated to join a gym, clingy calling and all! Good on you!

    • hawleywood40 says:

      After reading your reply and others too, I feel a lot better about my phone-a-phobia! I’m in good company, at least : ). I actually think its kind of normal to be annoyed by the interruption at times, especially if you’re in the middle of something you’re enjoying or actually having “face time” with someone else. I think people who jump to get it the minute their phone rings (unless they’re waiting to hear from family or something, that I totally get) are the weird ones, not us : )!

  5. tsonoda148 says:

    Oh gosh. The same thing happens if you do community or charity work, or donate. You get call after call after call. AND mail. AND email. It doesn’t stop me from doing good things, but it kinda makes me want to do some bad things, if you know what I mean.

  6. akamonsoon says:

    Isn’t that the worst? We give out our home number if we have to and then we very rarely answer the home line because its usually someone wanting us to install solar panels or sell us a newspaper. There’s no answering machine on it either. We use our cell phones for family & friends only so it helps to eliminate those types of calls.

  7. Jenny Hansen says:

    Of course, you COULD just turn the ringer off…just saying. 🙂

  8. Aurora says:

    I do turn my phones off! All the time. People get upset because they can’t reach me. Others don’t get upset because it didn’t matter that much in the first place. The ones who don’t get upset at all trust I will get their message and return their “wanted” call. Those are the only ones I return. My life, my time, my choice. If they don’t like it, as Ashley Brilliant says “If you don’t like my opinion of you, you can always improve yourself,” hahaha I hear ya, sista. Life has too many machines to attend to already. I just wanna’ LIVE. Ring on in your own unique way.

    • hawleywood40 says:

      I sooo agree with you! There are many days I choose to fly under the radar and avoid the phone and even email. Being in the moment is what gives us something to talk about when we do decide to answer : ).

  9. starzyia says:

    this is a man-ish thing to say, because let’s face it blokes always offer the fix it suggestion… but anyway, here I go…. can’t you block them from calling your number?
    but good job on being so consistent with your training, and I can totally relate to wanting to work out in silence… well maybe some music, but no conversation… that is when I also, think about my writing, my jewelry making, and any dreams and schemes I have for creating and any problems that need solving.

    • hawleywood40 says:

      LOL on the “mannish” observation – guys do wanna fix it rather than talk about how it makes us feel, don’t they : ). I haven’t figured out the block feature either. For someone who works in systems development I am pathetic when it comes to some types of technology. Guess that’s why I haven’t gotten a “smart phone.” And yay for peaceful workouts that recharge our minds while helping our bodies : )!

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