Welcome to another edition of The Life List Club’s Guest Post Friday! This week, I’m thrilled to be hosting writer Lyn Midnight. Lyn and I write in different genres, but share so much when it comes to our thoughts on writing and goal-setting.
Whether you are a writer or someone who is working on very different sorts of goals, I think you’ll enjoy her post on the importance of keeping your ambitions alive by sharing them with others. Learning to see others as potential support systems rather than hiding ourselves and our goals away is key to all of our successes.
But enough from me – here’s Lyn:
I was the typical outcast as a kid. I was bullied, mocked, silenced to tears, and disregarded by almost every kid I knew. So I grew up thinking that people were mean and couldn’t be trusted. I learned to take care of myself, without ever having to turn to anyone else apart from my best friend and my parents, though even then I’d choose to handle things myself. For a long time, I thought this was a good thing; that I was stronger for it.
Today I look back on those days and want to hug that kid!
I have learned that if you open your heart to people and show them you are just as vulnerable as they are, you will not be mocked, but understood, supported, and loved. I have also learned that setting goals alone and having no one to share them with is the same as having no goals at all.
Think about it for a second… what’s your motivation? What will you do with the money you dream to make, or the house you dream to build, or the fame you hope to find? If there is nobody to share these good things with, they will most likely turn into empty things. And if you pursue those goals by yourself, you’ll never know how good it feels to be a part of a whole, and to set common goals with someone who just… gets it.
When life throws you lemons, who will you make lemonade WITH?
Life is always better with people around. Your friends lend you their ears and shoulders when you’re going through a bad breakup, your parents are there when you’re having financial difficulties, your husband is there to pick up the slack, and so on. But that’s not all. Time and again, I’ve heard writers saying that their friends and family do not understand their needs. Let’s face it. Typing away in our room while everyone else is living OUTSIDE is plain weird.
I have set many writing goals in the past two years but I could never truly stick to them because I had ample time, space, and reason to slack off. My friends told me I shouldn’t stay alone in my room but instead go drink with them; my parents told me I should help with the chores instead of ‘luxuriating’ on my laptop; and my boyfriend… well, my ex-boyfriend was rather understanding because he was a man of the arts himself.
Anyway, the point is that nobody really pushed me to achieve those goals, and that’s because they didn’t get it. It’s awfully difficult to be supportive of something you don’t understand. This is why writers need writer friends. Beta partners, twitter friends, even agents all build up our support system when we set our writing goals and pursue their realization. They have all been there. They have valuable insights and lots of words of comfort, because that’s what we do: we use words to reinforce ideas.
So when I set goals, I don’t just think of myself. Rather, I like to think about how I’m going to achieve them WITH my writer friends. Because if someone has the same goal as mine, then we can step right in the thick of it together. Whether you are a writer, musician, surfer, or prima ballerina, I know you can relate to what I’m saying because setting goals and sharing them is as universal as smiling and laughing together. And this is exactly why I joined the Life List Club. Because I feel like we’re all in this together.
To that lonely kid inside, that feeling’s priceless.
Lyn Midnight writes in various genres and formats (fantasy, scifi, poetry), and likes to blog about anything her heart desires over at Lyn Midnight Against the Odds. She is currently working on a scifi novel and managing another blog – The Burning of Innocence – where she posts fantasy flash chapters. The person behind the handle is a Psychology graduate and eternal nomad, trying to make her big break somewhere in England. Long live the Queen! And long live our dreams.
If you enjoy these posts and would like to know more, please visit my Life List Club page. Also, my Life List guest post will be appearing over at Jess Witkins’ place today. Coincidentally, it is related to Lyn’s post here as it talks about helping your loved ones support your goals instead of unintentionally sabotaging them.
How do others support you as your work towards your goals? How do you support them?