I Wish I Was A Nudist

That’s an empty wish, for me. I’ve never been one to walk around with butt-bits and boobage hanging out. In spite of my big mouth, I’m actually rather shy.

But my sudden desire to be comfortable with nekkidness has nothing to do with wanting to expose myself. I just wanna save a buck.

Lee wanted camping gear for his birthday, the kind of man-tool stuff I wouldn’t pick out myself. So we went to the sporting goods store after his birthday dinner. While he was running around like a kid in a candy store, getting all giddy over lanterns and flint things to start a fire and camp soap, I wandered over to the bathing suits. Pool season is coming, and I’m much more suited to floating on a raft with a good book and a boozy beverage than I am to hacking my own pathways through the woods and starting campfires without a lighter.

There were actually two or three on the rack that I thought were cute, which is just shy of a miracle. I usually think bathing suits are butt-ugly or would look great – on someone else.

Then I saw the price tags. $70.00. They weren’t so damn cute anymore.

Hence, my halfhearted wish that I was the kind of girl who would be fine with swimming and pool-floating butt-nekkid. It is just really, really hard for me to imagine spending that kind of dough on what amounts to not much material at all.

Sure, there are cheaper bathing suits in other stores, ones that don’t pride themselves on being “sporty.” But see butt-ugly comment above.

Maybe I wouldn’t have run from that price tag if I had more play money. But somehow, I think the idea of blowing so much on a few scraps to hide my bits while I go swimming would still bug the crap out of me. It just seems like highway robbery.

Then again, I’m no more of a fashionista than I am a nudist, so what do I know?


About hawleywood40

Writer, Steelers Fan in Baltimore, Frequent Visitor to the Shot Fairy
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11 Responses to I Wish I Was A Nudist

  1. Why is it that most girls are shy about the whole nudity thing–even those who look good sansclothing–and most guys would walk out in their front yard stark naked to get the morning paper if they thought they could get away with it?

  2. LittleOddMe says:

    Tankinis have been my salvation. Just sayin’.

    Though I’d prefer nudity any time I could get away with it. I’ve never managed to get past that toddler stage of social development. 😛

  3. l'empress says:

    I like tankinis too. Swimsuits are something I’m happier to buy on-line. Somehow I will find something that fits, and no one will be there to watch me trying them on.

  4. tsonoda148 says:

    So I don’t see the issue here. Go nekked. We won’t look. Promise.
    As for me, I’m kinda in the other direction. Oh not about the money. $70 for a swimsuit is pretty Not-Happening. No, I put on my jean shorts and a t-shirt and go to the pool. I don’t have my own pool, but the one with the apartments is really nice and often times has a lot of people. I just strut myself in the gate, find a lounger, and proceed to blow up my swimmy wings. Eff ’em. At least my wings match my shorts. Right?

    • hawleywood40 says:

      I don’t have my own pool either, but am lucky that my momma does and still loves me enough to let me float in it : ). And really, I’m kinda with you. Am thinking a tank top and some shorts are kinda like a tankini, after all.

  5. akamonsoon says:

    I hear you there! They really are expense and its hard to justify the cost for so little material, I agree. Believe it or not, I also only use one once or twice a year in the summer. Its usually too hot to be outside so I only have one on at night after the sun has gone down.

  6. The Hook says:

    VERY unique title. Great post!

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