VD

Yesterday, I got a little snarky on the romance genre. Today, I’m going to trash Valentine’s Day. If I’m not careful, people are going to start thinking I’m either a bitter, jaded hag or a man posing as a female blog writer.

So let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE love. I just think the commercialization of love is rather asserific.

I also have to admit that this year, I haven’t been as inundated with the ‘spend big gobs of moola to show her you care!’ commercials as I have in past years. But I guess it is already too late. Kay and Jared killed my traditionalist thoughts on romance a long time ago.

I hate those “He Went to Jared” commercials with a passion. You probably know the ones. The girl just got engaged, and she’s telling her friends about it. She doesn’t say “I’m marrying the love of my life!” She doesn’t get all teary-eyed and squeal “he wants to spend the rest of our lives together!” She doesn’t even roll her eyes and announce “the dumbass finally realized he’d better crap or get off the pot and asked me to marry him.” No, she flashes her shiny bauble and says “He went to Jared!”

But the ones I hate even worse than the Jared dreck are the singsongy “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” commercials. Seriously? EVERY kiss? If that’s so, then your man is probably selling crack on the side to finance your jewelry addiction.

Maybe I’m not so jaded on romance after all, but instead am actually a true romantic. I think if a guy is worthy of your love, then he’s worthy of it whether or not he can afford to make your fingers all glittery. And I’m not saying that jewelry is a bad thing, or that you shouldn’t have it if it is something that makes you happy. I just think shoving it down people’s throats as the thing to do on Valentine’s Day sucks. I feel for the poor guy who is working his butt off for a down payment on a house, or who just got laid off, and happens to love his girlfriend with all his heart and feels like crap every time those commercials come on. And he does. Even if his girlfriend is the sweetest, most unmaterialistic woman on the planet, it gets to him, just like not being the hunter who came home with the wooly mammoth jabbed at the Caveman’s sense of self.

To that guy, I say “take heart.” If you can’t afford the VD bling, try the following instead:

– Think of that thing your girl always does to keep the wheels of your lives turning, that thing that usually isn’t even on your radar because it just magically happens when you aren’t looking. It might be the dirty laundry that climbs out of the hamper and magically makes its way to your closet fresh and clean. It might be the grungy toilet that suddenly sparkles, or the coffee that automatically starts percolating in your kitchen at 6 a.m. Think of that thing, and take care of it for her.

– Praise the things that make you love her that she might think you take for granted. Don’t just tell her you love her or that she’s the sexiest thing you’ve seen all day. Tell her she’s a wonderful mother or that you’re proud of how hard she works even though she hates her job. Encourage her to follow her dreams. The best gift you can give someone you love is to let them know you believe in them.

– Do “your thing.” Maybe that’s a hike in your favorite park. Maybe its just snuggling on the couch with a good movie. Maybe its going to your favorite local pub and getting rip-roaring schtoopid together. There is no right or wrong “thing,” as long as it makes you both happy.

If you do these things and your girl still looks downtrodden because all her office-mates showed up the day after Valentine’s Day with new bling, then either take a hike and free yourself up to find someone who isn’t a gold-digger or decide you’re going to keep her and start looking for a second job.

Because if you’re going to put up with the “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” mentality, imagine how much money you’re gonna have to spend to get laid.

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About hawleywood40

Writer, Steelers Fan in Baltimore, Frequent Visitor to the Shot Fairy
This entry was posted in Rants, Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to VD

  1. littleoddme says:

    [This is Awesome] Especially great ending. 😛

  2. l'empress says:

    My Valentine. He never sent me flowers. He gave me expensive jewelry only once, though it’s a helluva nice diamond.

    But he never forgot Valentine’s Day. When he got older, he would give one of the girls money and say. “Get something nice for Mommy. Soft centers.” (The soft centers were for for him; I like nuts!)

    That’s a good post, ’cause I don’t care much for commercialization either. Don’t be too surprised if this turns up on my page.

  3. hawleywood40 says:

    Glad you both enjoyed : )! We had a great V-day lunch Saturday and then dinner for my grandfather’s birthday yesterday, and Lee supercleaned the kitchen and is making salmon tonight … now THAT’s a good V-day to me!

  4. akamonsoon says:

    Amen sister! Loved the end. Didn’t see it coming. Those commercials are nauseating.

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